WyllyWeb: Comedian - Computer Problem Resolution Form

Comedian.
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This joke has also gone around with the name Dilbert's New Problem Resolution Form and other variants.

HELPDESK REQUEST FORM

In order to streamline the handling of problems within the system, please fill out the following questionnaire before addressing them to Customer Services. With your co-operation we should be able to provide faster and more efficient fault resolution.

1. Describe your problem:

___________________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:

A. Minor __
B. Minor __
C. Minor __
D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen __
C. Hung __
D. Shot __

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

_____________________________________________________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

______________________________________________________

17. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.

___________________________________________________

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel?

___________________________________________________

20. Tell me about your childhood.

___________________________________________________

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?

Yes__No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering us?

Yes__

Comedian:

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	Download a text version of this
	Computer Problem Resolution Form
	End-user Checklist for calling Tech Support
	If Operating Systems Were Airlines
	The Last Word in Chain Letters. (Period.)

Last updated Friday, January 24, 2003 10:20:29 PM
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